Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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