Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
