awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
And then he peed in my hair
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