God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize