well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
