Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This is my gift to your gina
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
