I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
