It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
