i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
