I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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