I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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