so explain again why im purple
no
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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