yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
