Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
