oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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