pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
