I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
