I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
