It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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