You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
