so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
