You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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