Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
