im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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