thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
