I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
