Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
