i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize