Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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