Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
