You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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