Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
