I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
