The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
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I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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