So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize