I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
