it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
