Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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