So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
