The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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