Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
me + whiskey = a bad person
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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