Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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