God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
