he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
