I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
