I'll bet she douches with gravy.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
