I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
