Yo dont text me then not text me
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
