He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
