Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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