it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
