In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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