there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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