Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
