i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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