...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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