How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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