he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
