it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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