On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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